Five Times She Called Them Mum and Dad
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: moments when Mels/River called Amy and Rory, Mum and Dad.


**Playing House:**

"Why are we playing house again?"

"Because it's my turn to choose and I chose house."

"But house is boring!"

"Stop whinging Amy, you sound like Rory when we made him play killer Barbie." Rory shuddered at the memory of Amy and Mel chucking Barbie dolls at him telling him that the blonde plastic things were killing him and were going to keep on killing him. He wondered if Amy really was the only one who needed therapy. "Now, Rory is the daddy because he is the boy, Amy is the mummy because she's bossy, so then I'm the kid who gets spoilt rotten."

"I am not bossy!" Amy shouted.

"Yes you are!"

"Fine! Go clean your room, and then you can eat all of your vegetables, do your homework and clean your teeth before going to bed!"

"Daddy! Mummy is being horrible. Read me a bed time story!"

"Err...ok..."

"Rory! You're supposed to be siding with me, I'm the wife, remember?"

"But I'm his little girl! The favourite child, so he's siding with me!"

As Amy and Mels bickered Rory wondered if it would have been better for his mental health if he just played with Jeff. After all watching Jeff pick his nose was healthier for Rory's mental health than playing with Amy's and Mels. Eight year olds shouldn't need to worry about their mental health!

**During a Lecture:**

"What were you thinking?"

"I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in you Mels."

"Stealing a motorbike! Do you know how dangerous those things are? You could have hurt yourself five seconds, just like that!"

"Rory rides one!"

"I'm learning to and not doing very well. This should tell you something since I'm the only one with a driving licence right now."

"I had a licence!"

"Before it was revoked because you drove your car through a shop window!"

"And driving the motorbike through the golf course? While the mayor was playing a game with the MP? Do you want the world to think we're all nutters? On top of that you almost killed the mayor's wife-"

"Eh, doubt it. If I hit her with the bike it would have just bounced off her fat belly."

"She's pregnant! And you almost drowned if it hadn't been for Jeff fishing you out of that pond!"

"Why can't you act your age for once instead of some spoilt brat?"

"Can't you take some responsibility for your actions for once in your life Melody?"

"Jeez, I get the picture, all right Mum and Dad? I was a very bad girl and in need of a doctor. I get it, all right? So lay off!"

"Don't take that tone with me young lady!"

**Pleading:**

She had never really thought about this day.

The day a young version of her parents put her – River Song – with the idea of Melody Pond – a psycho killer and their daughter – together. As one person. After all they knew Mels was Melody and watched Melody turn into River Song and the two to three times they only knew her as River she had been a mature sophisticated dangerous woman they admired. So the day when everything comes out never really been thought about.

She did not expect her father who had always hugged her and comforted her and protected her to look at her so dumbstruck. As if he could not believe what he was looking at. And she certainly did not expect her mother – her best friend, her partner in crime, her advisor in fashion, boys, and danger – to hold a gun at her once more.

"Mum," she pleaded, "Dad, please...it's me...Melody..."

She never really called them that and she never really thought she would. But the pleading worked, Amy lowered the gun and Rory moved towards her, placing his hands on her shoulder and looking at her.

"I really, really, didn't approve of all that shooting you did in America," he said finally.

She laughed and hugged one of the most important men in her life tightly.

**Taunting:**

She had new teeth, a nice new dress size, lots of big and wild hair, and she was mature.

Melody Pond had regenerated for the second time and she loved it.

She loved the stunned looks on her parents' faces as they realised that she was their daughter. Their wild out of control best friend was really their daughter. Half Rory (the sweet, gentle, weak boy) and half Amy (the wild, self-restrained, friendly girl). When they played house they had been parenting her. When Rory threatened a boyfriend he was doing his fatherly duty. When Amy helped her buy her first bra she was doing her motherly duty.

Oh the looks on their faces when it all clicked into place...

It didn't hold a torch to the look on their faces when they realised she was a trained killer and is trying very hard to kill their other best friend the Doctor.

"Oh Mummy, Mummy, Mummy..." she taunted.

She always did like her father better. He wasn't as harsh or judgemental as her mother and he wasn't obsessed with the Doctor like she was.

Which was a bonus really because he'll be less pissed off and inclined to lecture her after she killed that irritating Time Lord.

**One Last Time:**

They were running.

Oh she loved it when they did that. When she was younger she used to snatch up her parents hands and for one tiny moment pretend she was being rescued by grown up versions of them. When she was older and now River Song it usually meant the Doctor was holding her hand. Like now. And she loved it because it was so more exciting than being chased by a teacher.

Only gun shots could be heard and her father's yelps of pain before her mother's scream. She turns to rescue them but the Doctor grabs her by the waist and pulls her into the TARDIS.

"MUM! DAD! She screams on the top of her voice. Her throat is scratchy and painful as she continues to scream. "MUM! DAD!"

The TARDIS doors close at the click of his fingers and the last time she saw her parents were them dying, holding each other's hands, and looking at her with such loving eyes.

She never got to tell them that she loved them too.


End file.
